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Over several weeks, Ninon de Lenclos, the most infamous courtesan of seventeenth-century France, listened patiently as the Marquis de Sevigné explained his struggles in pursuing a beautiful but difficult young countess. Ninon was sixty-two at the time, and more than experienced in matters of love; the marquis was a lad of twenty-two, handsome, dashing, but hopelessly inexperienced in romance. At first Ninon was amused to hear the marquis talk about his mistakes, but finally she had had enough. Unable to bear ineptitude in any realm, least of all in seducing a woman, she decided to take the young man under her wing. First he had to understand that this was war, and that the beautiful countess was a citadel to which he had to lay siege as carefully as any general. Every step had to be planned and executed with the utmost attention to detail and nuance.
Instructing the marquis to start over, Ninon told him to approach the countess with a bit of distance, an air of nonchalance. The next time the two were alone together, she said, he would confide in the countess as would a friend but not a potential lover. This was to throw her off the scent. The countess was no longer to take his interest in her for granted – perhaps he was only interested in friendship.
Ninon planned ahead. Once the countess was confused, it would be time to make her jealous. At the next encounter, at a major fête in Paris, the marquis would show up with a beautiful young woman at his side. This beautiful young woman had equally beautiful friends, so that wherever the countess would now see the marquis, he would be surrounded by the most stunning young women in Paris. Not only would the countess be seething with jealousy, she would come to see the marquis as someone who was desired by others. It was hard for Ninon to make the marquis understand, but she patiently explained that a woman who is interested in a man wants to see that other women are interested in him, too. Not only does that give him instant value, it makes it all the more satisfying to snatch him from their clutches.
Once the countess was jealous but intrigued, it would be time to beguile her. On Ninon's instructions, the marquis would fail to show up at affairs where the countess expected to see him. Then, suddenly, he would appear at salons he had never frequented before, but that the countess attended often. She would be unable to predict his moves. All of this would push her into the state of emotional confusion that is a prerequisite for successful seduction.
These moves were executed, and took several weeks. Ninon monitored the marquis's progress: Through her network of spies, she heard how. the countess would laugh a little harder at his witticisms, listen more closely to his stories. She heard that the countess was suddenly asking questions about him. Her friends told her that at social affairs the countess would often look up at the marquis, following his steps. Ninon felt certain that the young woman was falling under his spell. It was a matter of weeks now, maybe a month or two, but if all went smoothly, the citadel would fall.
A few days later the marquis was at the countess's home. They were alone. Suddenly he was a different man: This time acting on his own impulse, rather than following Ninon's instructions, he took the countess's hands and told her he was in love with her. The young woman seemed confused, a reaction he did not expect. She became polite, then excused herself. For the rest of the evening she avoided his eyes, was not there to say good-night to him. The next few times he visited he was told she was not at home. When she finally admitted him again, the two felt awkward and uncomfortable with each other. The spell was broken.
Interpretation
Ninon de Lenclos knew everything about the art of love. The greatest writers, thinkers, and politicians of the time had been her lovers – men like La Rochefoucauld, Molière, and Richelieu. Seduction was a game to her, to be practiced with skill. As she got older, and her reputation grew, the most important families in France would send their sons to her to be instructed in matters of love.
Ninon knew that men and women are very different, but when it comes to seduction they feel the same: Deep down inside, they often sense when they are being seduced, but they give in because they enjoy the feeling of being led along. It is a pleasure to let go, and to allow the other person to detour you into a strange country. Everything in seduction, however, depends on suggestion. You cannot announce your intentions or reveal them directly in words. Instead you must throw your targets off the scent. To surrender to your guidance they must be appropriately confused. You have to scramble your signals – appear interested in another man or woman (the decoy), then hint at being interested in the target, then feign indifference, on and on. Such patterns not only confuse, they excite.
Imagine this story from the countess's perspective: After a few of the marquis's moves, she sensed the marquis was playing some sort of game, but the game delighted her. She did not know where he was leading her, but so much the better. His moves intrigued her, each of them keeping her waiting for the next one – she even enjoyed her jealousy and confusion, for sometimes any emotion is better than the boredom of security. Perhaps the marquis had ulterior motives; most men do. But she was willing to wait and see, and probably if she had been made to wait long enough, what he was up to would not have mattered.
The moment the marquis uttered that fatal word "love," however, all was changed. This was no longer a game with moves, it was an artless show of passion. His intention was revealed: He was seducing her. This put everything he had done in a new light. All that before had been charming now seemed ugly and conniving; the countess felt embarrassed and used. A door closed that would never open again.
Who doesn’t like a good ol fashion Top Ten Countdown. Since most Americans probably watch Sportscenters Top Ten Plays 3-4 times a day I figured I’d switch it up. Competly done subjectively, I present to you The Tuesday Ten. Today’s 10: Hip Hop Albums of All Time
Honorable Mention: Lil Wayne No Ceilings
Lil Wayne’s most innovative project to date couldn’t make the countdown since as a mix-tape it doesn’t qualify. I felt I had to give some credit here though as No Ceilings is as groundbreaking as it gets and a flawless piece of work by probably the most popular rapper in the game presently.
Other Honorable Mention: Common Ressurection, Eminem The Marshall Mathers LP
10. Tupac Shakur All Eyez on Me (1996)
2Pac was never defined by one album like his east coast rival but All Eyez On Me, recorded immediately after Pac’s release from jail, is a masterpiece. 27 tracks recorded in less than two weeks, Pac’s fourth and second to last studio album easily ranks as his greatest. Unlike most of the all time great Hip Hop albums, this was done in the twilight of the rappers career. A complete culmination of his highs and lows in a life cut way too short. RIP
Fact: Suge Knight bailed Pac out of jail in accordance that he signed with Death Row and completed at least 3 studio albums (AEOM counted for two of the three).
Notable Tracks: 2 Of Amerikaz Most Wanted, California Love, Thug Passion, Ambitionz az a Rider
9. Kanye West College Dropout (2004)
As a rapper Kanye West doesn’t rank in my top 100. That aside College Dropout is one of the most daring, complete LP’s of all time. West, an acclaimed producer at the time, had gone through years of rejection as a respected rapper until College Dropout. Straying away from the accepted gangster rapping style, West stuck to his stilo throughout the album, exploring themes such as self-consciousness, social acceptance, family and sexuality to relate to his audience. Beginning to end College Dropout is nearly flawless.
Fact: Before College Dropout West helped produce Jay-Z’s sixth studio album, The Blueprint.
Notable Tracks: All Falls Down, Jesus Walks, Gem ‘em High, Through the Wire
8. Kid Cudi Man On The Moon Part I & II (2008)
Even though MOTM is technically two separate studio albums, the story told is one. Released in 2006 and targeted towards our generations’ everyday struggles, this album is poetry at its finest. I know a lot of people will disagree that this is as a ‘rap’ album, but simply put I’ll never take this off my personal top ten. Furthermore this revolutionary LP is not even finished, Man on the Moon 3 is set to drop in 2012.
Fact: Drake approached Cudi before MOTM was released about doing a remix to Day n Night which Cudi refused saying he did not want to work with people not in the same “creative realm” as him.
Notable Tracks: Pursuit of Hapiness, Day n’ Nite, Mr. Rager (It’s all one story, tracks are irrelevant)
7. The Beastie Boys Licensed to Ill (1986)
The Beastie Boys remain one of the most influential rap groups of all time and are certainly among the pioneers of Hip Hop. Licensed to Ill, their debut LP, was the first rap album to top the Billboard 200, enough said.
Fact: The album was originally titled Don’t Be a Faggot
Notable Tracks: She’s Crafty, Girls, Fight For Your Right, No Sleep Till Brooklyn
6. Wu-Tang Clan Enter The Wu Tang: 36 Chambers (1993)
RZA, GZA, U-God, Ghostface, Raekwon, Inspectah Deck, Method Man, Masta Killa and the Ollllll Dirty put together one of the most influential rap albums of all time in 1993. A raw almost unedited sound that is unprecedented today. Some of the tracks could be mistaken for a group of friends flowing in their basement. The top 3 albums on this list would be considerably different if it wasn’t for Wu-Tang’s all-time great LP. The greatest rap group in hip hops history (yeah I said it, no disrespect to NWA or Public Enemy)
Fact: 9 members in the group multiplied by the 4 chambers of the heart=36 chambers
Notable Tracks: Bring Da Ruckus, C.R.E.A.M, Method Man, Protect Ya Neck
5. Big L Lifestylez ov The Poor and Dangerous (1995)
Straight tossup between LOTPAD and The Big Picture. It really doesn’t matter. Anything Big L spit was absolutely filthy. The hardest lyrics ever put down in one album. “Cuz if L gets the aids then every cutie in the city got it”, “Not the one to take sluts out, I just fuck their guts out, get my nuts out and get the fuck out”. “Fuck around I’ll introduce you to your ancestors”. RIP to the greatest lyricist of all time.
Fact: In 1991 Jay Z and Big L battled each other in Harlem (if only it was taped)
Notable Tracks: Put it on, MVP, All Black
4. Dr. Dre The Chronic (1992)
Some love for the West Coast. The Chronic’s smooth funk beats and lyrics will never be played out. Is there anything better than throwing on The Chronic in the whip and straight cruising. Crazy to think Dre dropped this in ’92 and never really came close to a classic again until 2001.
“Bitches aint Shit but Hoes are Tricks, Lick on these nuts and suck the dick”
Fact: The infamous album cover is modeled after Dre’s favorite rolling papers, Zig Zags.
Notable Tracks: Let me Ride, Fuck wit Dre Day, Aint Nuthin but a G Thang
3. Jay-Z Reasonable Doubt (1996)
Jay-Z has a more complete body of work than any rapper/rappers on this list. That fact alone is why I rank him as the greatest MC of all time. Reasonable Doubt, Jiggas debut LP, is fucking incredible to say the least. Who knew Jay slung rocks to make skins before he became a rapper, who knew he had to fight for respectability. I feel like people will remember Jay-Z for The Blueprint and it sickens for me to say…. Watch the Throne. But RD was his purest, freshest body of work. "I don't pray to god I pray to Gotti"
Fact: I can’t get enough of this one JAY Z battled BIG L in Harlem in 1991. Just imagine
2. Nas Illmatic (1994)
This was the toughest choice of the list. 90% of top ten rap album lists have Nas’ debut in the #1 slot. Lyrically genius from start to finish. Nas showed it doesn’t take crazy beats, long buildups and unnecessary drops to rap. With the simple smooth beats of DJ Premier, Illmatic is one of the most influential landmark Hip Hop albums of all time. “I never sleep, cuz sleep is the cousin of death”
Fact: Illmatic only sold 59,000 copies in it’s first week
Notable Tracks: (The Entire Album is One Track to Me) NY State of Mind, Halftime, Life’s a Bitch
The #1 Hip Hop Album of All Time….
Notorious B.I.G Ready To Die (1994)
When deciding between Ready to Die and some of the other top contenders there was one fact that stood out, this was the only album Biggie released in his fuckin’ lifetime. Biggie foresaw his own death and Ready To Die is literally a complete story of his entire life from childhood to death. PantyDropper agrees with me on this choice and he knows how badly I wanted to put Illmatic first, but ultimately when you talk about masterpieces Ready To Die takes the crown. RIP
Fact: Biggie put the album on hiatus to sling weight in North Carolina before returning to NY to finish it
Notable Tracks: Juicy, Ready To Die, Warning, Big Poppa, Things Done Changed, One More Chance, etc. etc. etc.
